You Bleed Just To Know You're Alive
by KirstyeeM
Summary: Set in New Moon, Edward left, but what Laurent found Bella in the forest, instead of Sam? Normal Pairings.
1. Bella Enchanted

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Hey! This is my first attempt at a Twilight Saga fanfiction.

So uh, tell me what you think.

Disclaimer- I don't own nothing from the Twilight Saga. =]

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Chapter One. The Change/ Bella Enchanted.

I was dead, I knew I was. The pain was too surreal, I had to be dead, If I wasn't I _wished_ I was, it was too much to bear. But if I was, wasn't the pain supposed to stop? Was I in hell? I slowly opened my eyes, it was dark, and wet, it must have been raining, and I realised I was still in the forest, where he had left me. I _was_ in hell; my hell is where he wasn't, and he wasn't here. Why hadn't anyone found me yet? It felt like I'd been here for days, maybe I had been here for days, my body felt cold, yet it felt like I was burning.

My blood was on fire, but I felt numb, I couldn't feel any of it. I couldn't remember much, but what I could remember I didn't want to. He was gone. I could remember how he looked every perfect detail of his face, his eyes, and the way they looked when he told me... I didn't want to remember that, but even though I tried I could, it's like my mind was pulling in a hundred different directions and I could _still_ think of him. I could smell everything, the moss, the fallen rain mixed with pine, I could hear everything, cars passing on the highway, TV's and music playing from people's houses, even the small insects moving in the forest, and I could _see_ everything. I could see the dust particles in the air, every exquisite colour, what the hell? What the hell was going on with me? Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew, because I was thinking about everything, Edward, The Cullen's, Charlie, the pain, all at once, and somehow I knew what I'd become. But how? I couldn't think about it, I'd become a... a... Vampire. Everything he didn't want me to become. I was it, but I couldn't remember how, why couldn't I remember?

Did-could Alice see this? Could she see me now? Would they come back? And without thinking or involuntary moving, I was up on my feet in one fluid motion. Whoa, head rush- if I was able to have one. I remember Edward saying about the venom, the pain of changing into a vampire, but I don't remember feeling it, well I _could_, I knew it was there, but pain more overwhelming had taken over me that I didn't care. Then it hit me, like a light switch being turned on in my now more intellectual head, I knew how I had become this. After Edward left, I was alone, still in the forest, I knew if I stayed here too long Charlie would come looking for me, probably even have a search party, but I didn't care. I felt like lead, I couldn't move, and I still couldn't move when Laurent came into view, I didn't know what was going to happen, but I saw the thirst in his eyes, and in that second I knew I was going to die. No one was here to save me now, not Alice, not Edward, and I hoped that no one would find me right now; I didn't want anyone else getting hurt. I knew I didn't have much time left, and I just wanted it over, I wanted this unbearable pain to stop, nothing could be as bad as this, and that's when I heard his voice.

"I have to say, I'm disappointed Bella. I was hoping Edward would be here, shame, she would have been so pleased to hear that. Oh well, still, a mate for a mate."

The hint of the French accent was still there. I hadn't heard that voice in a while, and strangely I felt comforted, not because I wasn't afraid of him, I'm not _that_ stupid, I _was_ afraid, but the memories that bombarded me when I heard his voice, I was comforted by Edward, the way he was so protective of me at that time in the clearing. The way he loved me back then, the way he needed me. It was all a lie now, but I was comforted, and it scared me. He lunged for me then, and I didn't move, _couldn't_ move, and he bit me, but I didn't feel the pain, the pain of Edward leaving was too raw for me to even begin to comprehend the other one, then I smiled after he had left, Alice saw me becoming a vampire, I was destined to become one, with or without Edward here, you'd never see me betting against Alice, it was inevitable. Then the memory stopped, blurring out.

Would they come back for me, now I was different? Would he come back for me? Or was the fact that I was now like him, and he didn't love me anymore as a human, repulse him more that I was a vampire? Ugh, too many questions, too much room to think, I wanted to block it all. I already hated this side of being a vampire.I know the first I should hate would be the thirst-but honestly, I could only just feel it, I couldn't see why the others had trouble, or maybe I was different, maybe because there was something way more higher on my list of what I wanted right now than blood.

Edward Cullen.

I wanted to cry, if only I could. How long had I been here in the forest? Why hadn't anyone found me? Had I been moved? It looked like it. I had to get out of here, I couldn't go back to Charlie's, I couldn't be anywhere near humans at the moment, just cause right now I didn't have the burning intensity of the thirst, didn't mean I wouldn't get it when I was around a human-it was strange saying that, a human. I was no_ longer _one. I wouldn't know if I'd be able to control myself, I didn't want the chance to test my will. So instinct took over and I ran, and I suddenly understood why they all liked the speed so much, it was exhilarating- I could get used to this side of being a vampire.

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You could see everything as you passed, no wonder he laughed when I was worried about hitting a tree- I would laugh. I wouldn't be able to hit a tree now even if I wanted to, because I could see every little detail in the leaves, in the bark, every insect on the tree, everything. IT was absolutely amazing, how could any human truly say they could see? They _saw_ nothing. My feet had a mind of their own, or I consciously told myself to go here, I didn't know how, but I ended up there anyways, there place of all places, but it felt like home- The Cullen's House, well you couldn't really call it a house, with the magnificent side made of glass, it was beautiful "the once place they didn't have to hide." I remembered.

It was coming back in pieces from memories of where I went. I wanted to remember, remember him, remember everything we did; everywhere we went, even the hard times when we were apart, like when James was after me. But that wasn't the worst time of my life by far; I thought it would be until he left. Even then though, I got to know Alice and Jasper better, and even some good came out of all the mess that was created. Alice finally knew the truth, and I was honestly glad that I had kind of helped with that, from the first day I met Alice Cullen, you couldn't help but instantly like her, her pixie-like features and spiked hair, but she was fierce, when she wanted to be. I love her; I love them all, almost as much as Edward, but my kind of love for him was unexplainable, otherworldly, and I was now among the otherworldly, would he want me now that I wasn't some annoying, fragile human?

I moved around the house, taking everything in, it looked different, the colours were so bright than I remembered. I don't know how long I spent there, a day- a week, time didn't exist. I remembered attempting to hunt the wildlife further out, making sure I was far enough away from any civilisation, I wasn't excited about it, I only needed to because the fire in my throat was making itself more prompt. After it, I came away messy, blood spilled over my already dirty clothes. Then I went back the house , time seemed to exist again. I just stayed there, trying to remember every memory possible of them, of all of them. I went in every room, replaying against my human memory of my first tour. I couldn't go in Edwards's room. I didn't go in there, I almost did-almost, a couple of times, but stopped myself when I saw where my feet had lead me.

I stayed here because I thought just maybe Alice had seen what happened, but was too late to stop it, they would see me here, come back for me, save me from myself, but it never happened. Day by day, my hope faded, and the pain worsened, rejected in ways no one could understand. This couldn't be happening. Everything I wanted to be, to be with Edward forever, finally happened, not by his hand, but _still _happened, and now I _didn't_ have him. It made sick. It had to be some sick vivid dream. I was back at Charlie's, in my room. I couldn't do this without Edward, how could I not drink human blood if I came across it? How would I know I could resist? I couldn't test myself, and _no one_ was here to help me, to help me understand, to hold me back if needed. I was on my own with this, and that hurt. I don't know why, but I still stayed there, replaying the memories I had here. I even missed Rosalie's hostile glare. I wanted to sleep, to get away from my mind for a few hours at least- but I knew I would never be able to sleep again in my whole existence from now on. That would be weird. The first time I wanted sleep since I met Edward- and now I couldn't. The saying "Be careful what you wish for" suddenly seemed ironic to me.

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I turned on the TV, would anything be on there about me? And even though I was expecting it, I wasn't quite braced for it, I was shocked to see my face on the news Isabella Marie Swan-still missing, and since it had been over a week now, I knew I was presumed dead or a runaway. The picture, my face, bright eyes-they screamed of happiness. That seemed such a long time ago. I looked so different now, my face, the obvious paler, my eyes weren't brown and expressive anymore, they were emotionless and bright red- that I didn't know why. I shut it off quickly; I didn't want to see the rest of it. I didn't want to know what they thought what had happened to me, would they think I ran off with the Cullen's?

Did Edward know I was supposedly missing? I didn't want to even think about Charlie, what did he think? I was the only thing he had left; at least Renee had Phil to help her through this. A sharp intake of breath alerted me to someone's presence, there was no fire in my throat, meaning it wasn't human, so it had to be a vampire, and in that moment excitement and hope flared through me without permission, had they come back? But then I tensed, what if they hadn't, what if it was a nomad? But my fears were dispelled as soon as I heard the high trilling voice, disapproving as always to what I wear

"and what do the hell you think you're wearing? _Honestly_, Bella."

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Okay, so tell me what you think, and if I should continue. I won't continue unless someones reading this. I write because I want to, so it'll be written anyway, I just won't upload it unless someone wants me to.

So please review. =]

-Kirsty.


	2. Alice In Wonderland

Thank You so much to KrazyKarah, Coldplay123, Iniysa and dlajmc for reviewing, and to anyone who's reading this. =] I really appreciate it. So heres the next chapter, hope you like.

Disclaimer- I own nothing from the Twilight Saga. =]

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**Chapter Two. Alice in Wonderland**

"And what do the hell you think you're wearing? _Honestl_y, Bella." Her dainty features lighting up when she saw me, and I couldn't help it, the corners of my mouth itched up into a full blown smile, without my permission, but this time I was welcoming it.

"Alice." I breathed. Oh My God. My voice sounded so different, I wasn't expecting that, and it surprised me, I hadn't spoken in over a week. With a quiet tsk she made me smile even more "What have you gotten yourself into, Bella." It wasn't a question, she knew. She was trying to make me comfortable. "What are you doing here Alice?" and is he here? I held that back though, but it was like she knew what I was thinking. "No he's not here, Edward doesn't know I'm here, no one does, actually." I thought over that for a second, she never told anyone. "I'm so sorry Bella." I knew she didn't just mean for leaving, or for Edward, she meant this. Me. Sorry she couldn't save me. She was sorry I had become one of them.

"I repeat, what are _you_ doing here Alice?" I reminded her, acid leaking into my voice, I couldn't help it, she was sorry for me, she didn't want me to become one of them, she didn't want me, so why the hell was she here? "I should start from the beginning, for you to understand." Okay. "The beginning" I agreed. Wait, that meant... why they left. "I should let Edward explain this part himself, since he's made such a _mess_ of it. But- I feel partly responsible, so..." She paused, I stopped breathing."Enough with the commentary Alice-"I knew I was being harsh, but I needed to know. "Sorry." I tried to sound less callous. "We left because Edward thought it would be better for you." If my heart hadn't stopped beating now that I was a vampire, it would have now.

"You. All. Left. Because _he_ _thought _it would be better for _Me_."I muttered through my teeth, how freaking ridiculous. He left because of that. "That's the most _absurd _thing I've ever heard, even coming from you, Alice." Her eyebrows puckered, I wasn't going to apologise. "Just let me explain." I waved my hand out, "Go ahead." She could try. "After what happened at your birthday, Jasper was ashamed, Edward was furious. He couldn't believe he put you in danger again." She stopped, probably noticing I was confused, I couldn't remember my birthday... "Bella, think back, we were here in this room, on your 18th birthday, giving you presents..." and then it hit me...

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I had give myself a paper cut opening one of the presents I had asked them not to get me, and then Jasper had tried to attack me, I remembered his expression, the black eyes thirst, his teeth, I winced. Alice noticed. But that wasn't all, by Edward trying to get me out of the way, I had crashed into the table with the presents, cake and everything on it, and I remembered the clash as something collided with the floor, smashing, and me following shortly after it. I also remembered the pain as the glass sliced into my arm. My fingers ran up the scar lightly following the trail from my wrist to the crease at my elbow.

"I remember" I whispered so low, I knew Alice could hear me anyway. It wasn't clear, like I had a catalyst on my eyes or something, it was uncomfortable. "After that Edward didn't want you to be in danger, intended by us or not, he hated the fact that you weren't _completely _safe around us." I cut her off before I actually started believing her, I knew the truth. "No- Stop Alice." She paused "You don't need to lie for my benefit." That had her really confused, then her mouth set in a firm line, then she stared me down, looking me straight in the eyes, topaz on burgundy. "Bella listen to me. I am _not_ lying-"

"But-"I started to interrupt her again my mouth left open

"-but nothing, I know what Edward said, I _saw_ it before he fully accepted what he _had_ to do." That closed my mouth up with a quiet slam. No. I couldn't comprehend what she was saying, if... Alice must have seen the confused expression across my face "He lied." And I stopped breathing, again. No, no, no, _no_, I must have whispered the last one because Alice heard me. "

Bella-"but I stopped her. "No Alice, please don't, _please_. I don't want to hear the rest." She interrupted me this time, her high soprano voice, saddened, for her brother, for me, I didn't know. "You need to know." This was true, I did need to know, but I didn't want to know right now, I don't think I could handle it all at once, if I ever saw Edward again, he could tell me himself. Or if I couldn't wait, I would ask Alice to tell me, but right now, I didn't.

"I know I do, but _right now_ Alice, I don't want to, so please, just don't." I barely heard her answer "Okay." I just realised, that I still didn't know why Alice was here. "Okay, so I know the reason why you all left-"I just didn't want to know the reason behind why. "-So why are you here?" I realised she was nervous, fiddling with her hands, I on the other hand had been perfectly still, without blinking for the past ten minutes, I knew I had to get the acting human-thing down.

"Well, before we left I had a vision, of you..." she paused "becoming a vampire." I finished for her, she winced. "Right. I saw Laurent biting you. But in a month's time. I told everyone, trying to convince Edward we _needed_ to stay, now more than ever to protect you, but he had his mind set. He just said that if we stayed we'd end up making it worse than just leaving and coming back to stop it when it happened, _stupid fool_." A low snarling sound came from Alice, it made me jump. "But why didn't you see the vision changed?"

"Edward made me promise, he asked me if Laurent's actions were set in stone, they _were_. So he demanded me to stop keeping tabs on you. I didn't _want_ to Bella, I knew it hurt him too, but he honestly thought he was doing the right thing, I saw that evident on his face. So I agreed." I sighed, we were getting somewhere, slowly, but I guess we had all the time from now on. "Then how did you know?" I asked, "A couple of days ago, we were in France, they all went hunting, except me, I needed to stay behind, I wanted to stay behind just to see if you were okay, I know I was breaking his promise, but I loved you too Bella, I needed to make sure, and I had to do it when he wasn't around, just in case..." her voice trailed off, and her lips twisted into a painful smile, "I saw it, Laurent..." she winced just as I did, suddenly the pain of the venom, I could remember. "I was too late, it was a snap decision, and he changed his path, and met Victoria earlier than he should have. I should have kept watch, if Edward wasn't so..." I saw the pain in her eyes and I couldn't help it, I ended up comforting in her, telling her it wasn't her fault. "It was inevitable Alice."

"I am _so_ sorry Bella, I should have been here, and you shouldn't have gone through _this_ on your own." No I shouldn't. But I wouldn't voice that aloud. "Its okay, Alice, it's not your fault." We sat like that for a minute then I needed to know what happened next. "What did you do? After you found out I mean?"

"The vision changed, I saw you here, alone. So I just left, I took my car, and went, I didn't leave a note, I didn't want them to know yet, I wanted to be _sure_. You deserved to know, you deserved an explanation before they did... and now here I am." Damn right I deserved an explanation, but I gave her a disapproving look anyway, even though I was glad she came here. "You should have told them, at least phoned them Alice, they'll be way beyond worried about you, what about Jasper." She closed her eyes "He'll understand, they all will."

"Alice, you should phone them. If it's just to say you're okay." She looked me straight in the eyes again; it kind of scared me now. "I will, but you need to know first." I wagged my eyebrow "Know what?" she grimaced, "Why Laurent bit you." Oh. I looked down but I could still feel her gaze, she didn't wait for me to look back up. "He did it for Victoria." I looked back up at her at the sound of Victoria's name; she looked disgusted with the thought of it. "Mate for a Mate." She whispered, I was confused, and then it hit me, a mate for a mate, I heard Laurent whisper it because he bit me.

They killed James, Victoria's mate, she wanted to take away Edwards... mate. But she didn't need to do this, I wasn't Edwards mate, I wasn't Edwards anything anymore, he didn't want me. "I don't exactly know the truth, but _I_ wasn't as stupid as Edward was, so I kept an eye on Laurent through the Denali clang, I knew when he left, and I know he would be seeing Victoria along his travel, but I didn't think it would change, _she_ sort _him_ out sooner than we thought, it was urgent. So he did what she asked, but I don't know why she wanted you turned."

Her expression turned from disgusted to frustration so quick I had to look twice to make sure I saw it. I think I knew why. Victoria wanted to kill me, she wanted me while I was a vampire, fairs fair, so there was no way I could come back from it, just like James. So Edward would know there was nothing he could do. If only she knew, she could save all the bother. We were both silent, and when Alice spoke, it made me jump,

"It's so good to see you again Bella." Then she had me in a hug and a sighed, I could smell her scent, it was like it was before, a hundred times stronger now, but there was also something different, I couldn't place it. "It's only been like two weeks at the most, Alice." It felt way longer than that, "But it's good to see you too, I'm so glad you're here." She nodded, "I just wish it was better circumstances." I didn't know if I agreed or not, but either way we both couldn't change anything.

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My head shot up at her phone ringing, and she got it out, I could see it was Jaspers name on the ID, I blew out a sigh- I didn't know I stopped breathing, I didn't know if I would be glad or disappointed if it was Edward. Did I _want _it to be Edward, and the voice in my head that I'd been trying to ignore made itself more known, of course I wanted it to be Edward. I _still_ loved him, no matter how much I wanted myself _not_ too because I'm only hurting myself, he didn't want me. But I still wanted him.

"Alice, _finally_." I heard the relief in Jaspers voice, when Alice accepted the call. "Don't you _ever _do that to me again." She laughed happily into the phone "Oh stop overeating Jazz." I waited for his reply "Overreacting? You call _this_ overreacting, wait until I see you. You left without a word; we've been worried, what was so important you couldn't tell _me_?" I noticed towards the end he seemed sad. Alice looked at me then and whispered my name "Bella." The other line was silent.

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Okay, so I don't really like this chapter, but whatever. Tell me what you think.

Review =]

-Kirsty.


	3. Message From A Vampire

Hey, thank you to who reviewed, and I know i've said it, but I do really appreciate it. =] So heres the next chapter.

Disclaimer- I don't own anything from the Twilight Saga.

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**Chapter Three- Message from a Vampire.**

"Bella." The other line was silent. "Are you with her now?" he finally spoke. "Yes, and before you ask I'll explain everything, but if there's any possible way that Edward isn't listening, don't tell him yet." I felt relieved when I heard his reply "He isn't here, he's gone hunting, after finally giving up on looking for you. We convinced him you'd call when you wanted." Alice interrupted him with mocking tone "but that doesn't _stop you_ from calling me every couple of minutes." He laughed. "Of course not, Alice...What happened?" Alice sighed "All I can tell you right now is that _something _happened. I need you to get everyone here as soon as, by whatever means, this is important."

I had to look away, get some distance, so I resumed my place opposite her, when she first walked in here. I couldn't take the obvious love coming from the both of them, I could hear it, and it felt sickening to me right now. I would never have that again, not unless what Alice said was true, but I wasn't getting my hopes up, not unless I heard it from him myself. I vaguely heard Alice telling him to get everyone here, they were needed, even Edward, and she heard my intake of breath at his name. I heard Jasper agree and telling Alice he loved her, knowing the conversation was ending. "I love you too Jasper." I closed my eyes, the memory of Edward telling me he loved me for the first time, saying the actual words, I wanted to hear those words now, to tell me everything would be okay, to tell _me_ that _he_ wanted _me_, that he'd _always_ _wanted_ me... I needed to stop this. I wasn't doing myself any good by hoping. Alice disconnected the call.

"They'll be here in a couple of hours." She said, I couldn't help but noticing the sudden light up in her mood. "Everyone?" I needed to be sure. "Yes, everyone. How Jasper will get them here without an explanation is _beyond_ me, I'll seriously have to thank him for this. Especially Rosalie and Edward, how he will get them to come along is nothing short of a miracle. They're so stubborn. Emmett is up for anything, Carlisle will be cautious, but he'll go anyway, Esme will follow Carlisle."

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It was so weird her saying this, I _knew _all of this, I _knew_ how stubborn Edward was, I knew how loyal to his 'children' Carlisle was. "They've really missed you Bella, we all have, they'll be happy to see you." I couldn't hope, I didn't want to hope that when they got here, they'd welcome me with open arms. I would not allow myself to do that. I could only endure so much, and before I could stop it my mouth was forming words. "But _will_ they Alice? Will they, once they see that I'm just like them? All their work to keep me alive was for nothing, it was a waste of time. Everything Edward didn't want me to become, and here _I_ am, shoving it in _their_ faces." Alice voice was hostile, and dare I mention it...livid. Who was she livid with? "Bella, don't you dare. Of course they'll be happy to see you." I didn't believe her, and she saw that "You can't know that."

"Of course I can" she snapped "I can see it." I wondered if she was just saying that for my benefit or if she could really see it. "God, what has my brother _done_ to you Bella?" He broke me, but I didn't want to say it out loud, and I wasn't going to tell her that. "I... It's just..." I couldn't find the words, but Alice sat there patient, that made it worse. "It's hard... to think about him, about all of you, when I realised what had happened, what I'd become, I came here, my subconscious led me here. I couldn't remember much, but I remembered_ him, _and I had a strange pull to this place. I was getting bits and pieces when I got here, but everything had changed. I turned on the TV, I saw..."

she knew what I'd seen, because she had seen it, but she wanted me to say it."...The Missing report, on me. I felt so alone. "I paused "The truth is Alice, I can't bear to look at myself, I've got _everything_ I wanted, without everything I _wanted_, without everything I _needed_, and I resent it. Nothing can make that go away Alice, _nothing_ can help that... But I'm trying to deal with it, I am, I know what I was getting myself into, when I wanted Edward to...But things don't always go your way, I've accepted that, so please don't be saying anything or doing anything to try and make me comfortable, because it'll make it worse."I finally said it. "Bella." She barely whispered, but I could still hear. She shook her head so fast; her spiky hair looked like a blur. "Alice whatever you are thinking, please just keep it to yourself."

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A minute later and she finally answered "Fine" she muttered quickly, irritated with my response, or maybe she was irritated with me in general, I wasn't reacting to all of this very well. I was making it harder on her, I knew that, but deep down I couldn't bring myself to be sorry. "Awe, don't be like that Alice." She turned her head to look at me "It's just I'm still adjusting, I need time, this-"I waved my hands out, "is just all quick." She shocked me with her reply, "Yeah, I remember how confused I was when I woke up-"I felt immediately guilty, Alice had it worse than me, at least I knew what I had become. "If it wasn't for the fact that I saw what my future would hold, what I would have, what I would love, I probably wouldn't be here now." I avoided her gaze, she was looking for something I knew that. "I'm sorry Alice." I looked back at her "I'm sorry I'm acting like this, when you've come here to help me. Everything is so confusing right now. I _can't_ take the rejection from _him_ again Alice."

She bit her lip so she wouldn't say anything; her features were pained, but straightened back out so fast, so I wouldn't see, but I did. Something I didn't know. Argh. I wanted to know, but I didn't. I always contradicted myself, it was stupid. Her voice brought me back to reality. "So do you know if you have a power yet?" she was trying to lighten the mood, bringing me to think of the better perks of being a vampire. I wrinkled my nose "No. I haven't exactly thought about that. I haven't tried anything; I haven't even been anywhere, just stayed here."

"What about hunting?" I looked down, I didn't like that experience that much, and maybe I would enjoy it over time. She misunderstood my silence. "You didn't, _did_ you...?" I looked at her confused, did what? She answered my confusion "Hunt a human?" that shocked me, and I felt the hurt spread across my face, surely she wouldn't think I had killed a human, didn't she know me, at all? "What?" _No_." My voice was higher than I intended, she winced at the volume. "How could you think I would do _that_?" the confusion was on her face this time,

"But Bella, the _thirst_... your instincts..." Oh. "How _did _you control that?" I couldn't tell her how easy it was for me, I just had something worse on my mind. "It was hard, I was thirsty, but I just ran, and I ended up here, then I just hunted in the mainland." I remembered something else I needed an answer to, "Alice, when I woke up, it looked like I had been moved, and I was deeper in the forest than I remembered- did you see anything?" "Yeah- I saw him moving you, I don't know why, but probably so no one could find you." So no one could find me, Charlie, Renee, Phil... They would be going mad, not knowing if I was dead or alive, always wondering, never knowing. I hated Laurent, why couldn't he just have killed me, left the body, at least they would know. I hated Victoria, how dare she, it was James own stupid fault in the first place, if he could have just controlled himself, none of this would have happened, he got himself killed.

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"Alice, could you do something for me?" she replied before I could fully get the question out "Anything." "I'm going to write a letter for Charlie and Renee, they need to know Alice, they need to know I'm not dead, they need to know so they don't keep wondering. I know they can't know the truth, but anything has to be better than not knowing. I'll tell them I ran away, to stop looking for me, that when Edward left it hurt too much to stay-""You don't have to tell me everything Bella, just don't give something that will lead to anything." I nodded, then finally finished what I wanted to ask "Can you give them to him, he'll give Renee hers, just tell them I called you and you met me somewhere to help me out." She looked at me, I saw the sympathy in her eyes "Of course...I'll leave you to it, I need to phone Jasper again anyway and go hunting, it's been a week." I only just noticed the dark rim embedding her topaz eyes. I just smiled weakly at her, and she left, with a spring in her step, like she was dancing, and I felt like I could breathe again- if that was possible.

I found some paper in a drawer and a pen, I didn't want do this, maybe it would be better if they thought I was dead, because knowing I ran away willingly away from them, I think that would hurt them kind of more, or it would be a different kind of hurt, but at least they knew I was alive, for now. I sat down again, even though I didn't really need to, but it felt right. I would write Renee's first, I liked to think that she'd understand, because she was a free spirit.

_Mom,_

_I'm writing this because I know you all think I'm dead, but I'm not, so you can stop searching, and I mean it, stop searching. I've gone away, and I don't know when I will come, if I ever come back. Edward left, and it just hurts way too much to be in Forks right now, I need to be on my own, to think for a while, away from everyone. I'm sorry I didn't tell anyone, that I couldn't say this myself, I'm not phoning because I don't want you to know where I am, Alice is doing this because I asked her too, so please don't interrogate her, she doesn't know anything, and she doesn't know where I am. The truth is Edward Cullen broke my heart, he broke me, and I need time to piece myself back together. I want to start new, and I need you to understand that. Don't be too sad about this, don't dwell on it too much, I'll write again when I get settled, when I'm happy again. Have a life with Phil, don't regret anything. I don't. So don't blame yourself and please help Charlie through this, he has no one now. I love you mom, don't forget that. Goodbye. –Bella._

I didn't think of the truth, I didn't think of Renee and Charlie's faces when they read this, I couldn't. So I wrote Charlie's next, changing it a bit.

_Dad,_

_I'm writing this because I know you all think I'm dead, but I'm not, so you can stop searching, and I mean it, stop searching. I've gone away, and I don't know when I will come, if I ever come back. Edward left, and it just hurts way too much to be in Forks right now, I need to be on my own, to think for a while, away from everyone. I'm sorry I didn't tell anyone, that I couldn't say this myself, I'm not phoning because I don't want you to know where I am, Alice is doing this because I asked her too, so please don't interrogate her, she doesn't know anything, and she doesn't know where I am. The truth is Edward Cullen broke my heart, he broke me, and I need time to piece myself back together. I want to start new, and you of all people should understand that. I don't want you to dwell on this, okay? I chose this. I'll write again when I'm settled, when I'm happy again. I want you to move on from this, and please don't let yourself starve. Don't blame yourself for this, and make sure Mom doesn't either; it's none of your faults. I left. Can you tell my friends I'm sorry and I'll miss them? Try to be happy, I love you, never forget that Goodbye. –Bella._

I felt like crying, so I folded the letters in half, just staring at them. I don't know how long I sat there, writing, or staring at them, but Alice came back then. "Bella, Jasper just called-"

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Okay, so theres the third chapter, I don't really, you know when you write something and you think it's good, then the next day look back over it and think totally different about it? Well, basically everything I write I get that. So truthfully tell me what you think. =] Oh and just so you know, I won't be updating for like two weeks, I've got a lot of studying to do since schools started back up. I got my GCSE Maths results Thursday, my class done it early since were in a higher band, but most of us failed, I didn't exactly fail, but didn't do good. Retaking it this year.

Okies, so please review and i'll update as soon as I can. =]

-Kirsty.


	4. Beautiful Memory

Heyy! Okay, so revision is getting on my nerves. So I deserve a break, and decided to update. =]

Thank you so much to who reviewed, especially divine divinity for her awesome review. I was gobsmacked. Lol. So heres the next chapter, hope you like it.

Disclaimer- I don't own nothing from the Twilight Saga. =]

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**Chapter Four. Beautiful Memory**

_**Quote. Do not trust your memory; it is a net full of holes; the most beautiful prizes slip through it.  
Robertson Davies**_

"Bella, Jasper just called-" my head whipped up, she must have saw my alarmed expression, because she quickly assured me "No, it's nothing bad, he just told me, everyone's on their way, they booked an emergency flight with a lot of persuasion, so they won't be long." Great. That did nothing on my nerves. I stared at the letters again, Alice followed my gaze

"Do you want me to go now?" she whispered, knowing I meant about the letters, I lifted them up and she walked over to me so I could hand them to her "If you would. I don't want to think about it too long." She nodded and turned her back on me to walk out "Oh and Alice-"she looked at me over her shoulder "Thanks for doing this." And with her little smile, I knew she knew I meant more than just the letters, I finally thanked her for being here. I knew Charlie will be surprised when he saw Alice, wondering if I was there with her or if she knew where I was, the hope on his face.

I stopped thinking about it then, it hurt too much, I hated the fact that I wouldn't see them again, well maybe not for a long time, I couldn't even remember what they looked like properly, the catalyst covered my eyes again when I thought about them, trying to recall them.

I should have asked Alice to get me some of my stuff. I looked down at my outfit then, I seriously needed to change, it was covered with dirt and blood. The sight of the blood kind of revolted me, but the smell of the stale blood made the thirst flare, and that revolted me more. That was the hardest part of being... this, the blood I hated, just like when I was human, only I didn't faint.

It didn't revolt me in the meaning that I didn't like the blood, which was only half true, it satisfied the thirst for the time being, but it was still there, and animal blood wasn't that appetising. I hadn't even looked at myself in the mirror yet, I hadn't want to see the thing I had become, I didn't want to see if I was myself anymore, I know I would change, but I felt like me, just different. Now I was curious, there had to be a mirror here somewhere, so I went looking, and found a big one in what was Alice's bathroom.

What I saw shocked me at first. I was pale, paler than before, my eyes were burgundy, that really scared me, they looked _dangerous_. My skin was flawless, and more sculptured, I had to admit, I liked this part of being a vampire. I finally looked like I belonged to be with someone like Edward, if only he wanted to be with me, and he would see me in probably less than twenty four hours, they all would. I was afraid of the rejection; I didn't want him to reject me again. I was still in love with him, I knew that, and just because I had basically died, didn't mean I couldn't again, well I couldn't physically die, but I could emotionally... again. I don't know how long I had spent standing there, but Alice wasn't back yet, it was getting dark out, so I went outside and sat on the steps, just waiting for her to come back.

* * *

She still hadn't, so I went for a walk, mindlessly just walking, and I ended up at a meadow, that's when the memory came crashing at me.

The way Edward looked in the sun, his skin throwing of rainbows, it was so breathtaking, I could remember this so clear. The way his hands felt on my skin, and I felt the tingle. I remembered how he closed his eyes when I touched him, and then it was gone. I wanted more, I wanted to feel it again, I wanted to remember more, and it wasn't enough. So I walked from the clearing into the meadow, lying down in the middle. That's when I got what I wanted, the memory was so fresh, like it was happening now, and I could almost feel him next to me. The way he smelt so intoxicating, I wondered how he would smell now. The way he smiled made my insides crumble.

The first time he had kissed me, and I had fainted, I now cursed myself for that. I felt the excitement rise through my veins, I wanted him, now more than ever, and I'll be seeing him soon, I wanted to see him, even if he rejected me. I wanted him to see me, just once; I wanted to see the look on his face, even if he would be disappointed at what he saw, and most of all, I wanted the truth. When the darkness finally caved in, I walked back, nothing much faster than human speed, I wasn't in any rush.

* * *

When I got back to the Cullen's, Alice was back, she was sat on the floor in the dining room. She looked at me, and the pain come again, she looked so wretched, "Alice, what's happened?" I was afraid she had seen something bad.

"Charlie." I stopped breathing, "I shouldn't tell you this." What? she could say that and expect me not to want to know. "Alice, he's my damn _father_, now tell me." She winced, she didn't want to tell me, oh god, what had happened?

"He looked so depressed Bella."I took in a breath of air, I could taste the dust. I was kind of relieved, nothing had happened to him. "He begged me to tell him where you were." I looked down this time, I should have listened to her, I really didn't need to know this.

A stab of rage pulsed through me, damn Lauren and Victoria, they had done this to me, they had done this to my family, and I was hurting them still. "It's for his own good." I reminded her, I needed to remind myself as well, before I could think, I saw myself walking right of this house and to mine, to tell Charlie I was sorry, to show him I was okay, and I so wanted to do that, but then I also let myself see what would happen if I did that, me _ripping_ Charlie's throat out, crazed with thirst, smelling the scent of a human for the first time. That was so much worse than being depressed, I would rather him be depressed than have that happen to him. I noticed in the corner there was a bag; I picked it up

"What's this?" I asked her, lifting the bag up to open it. "Charlie gave it to me, even though I told him repeatedly that I didn't know where you are, he gave it to me, in case you came to us. He thought you would need fresh clothes..."

I didn't hear the rest; I looked in the bag, taking out the clothes, smelling them, the scent I used to have. It didn't appeal to me, maybe because it reeked of death to me. There was a bundle of cash wrapped in a rubber band, and the one thing I needed the most, A picture of me, Charlie and Renee of a summer such a long time ago. But they hadn't changed as much, where as I had. I was happy I could remember them now; see the faces in the murky memories. I would always have this, no matter what happened. "Alice, did he look better when you left to when you got there?" I hoped he did, it would hurt too much to know that I caused him even more pain, than he already was in.

"Yes, he was relieved to know you were at least alive, even if you weren't home."I wasn't alive, not in the sense that mattered.

I felt relieved, my parents would be okay, they wouldn't be wondering for the rest of their lives, they could move on from this, move on with their lives. My emotions were a wreck, they changed so quickly and back again, it didn't seem possible. But it was happening, and I had to keep them in check, before I did something I would regret. "That's good."I whispered, mindlessly, just for something to say.

"Do you want to be alone?" she asked me, sensing I was somewhere else, "No." I didn't know what I'd do if I was left alone, I'd probably allow myself to wallow in self pity. I wouldn't let it overrule me, I couldn't let it overrule me, and if I did, I wouldn't be Bella anymore. I wouldn't come back from that. But my hands were shaking, involuntary; it was like my mind was racing ten times faster than my rationalising. "Alice." She looked at me "Yes Bella?"

"Please distract me." I needed to calm down; I gathered she could see that, I knew she could see me shaking. "Tell me about what you've been doing, since you've been gone." Maybe, that was a bad idea, it might make me worse, and Alice realised that. "Bella, maybe that isn't such a _great_ idea." "Just distract me Alice. Just talk, _anything_."Uh, I'm going to go shopping tomorrow?-"trust Alice to think about shopping through this. "-Maybe you could come with me?" she realised what she said, "Or maybe not, that wouldn't be such a good idea now. Uh, I can't wait to see Jasper..."and the mention of the others started to calm my shaking, it was slowing before it finally came to a sudden stop.

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"Alice, I have a question." She nodded for me to continue "Why the eyes? - I mean, why are mine red?" she looked thoughtful for half a second then answered "Because you're a newborn, your eyes are always red; they will change in a few months." Oh, I was glad about that, I didn't like these eyes.

"What's the difference between a newborn and, well, you?"She looked at me with curiosity, I didn't know why, until I heard her answer. "Well, Newborns are full of blood the first year or so-their own blood, so their unusually strong, stronger than any of us- even Emmett." I smiled at that, I couldn't imagine anyone stronger than Emmett."They're normally savages if left unattended."

That was the curiosity, I wasn't acting like a newborn, I had my control, I had my sense to calm myself down, I had my sense to take myself away from temptation, away from humans. Maybe that was my power. She looked at me curiosity and frustration bent in her glare, "I haven't _seen_ anything like this Bella; I haven't _heard_ anything like you. When you woke up, your first instinct _should_ have been to hunt, but you came here, and then hunted animals, instead of humans, no one was here to teach you, and you still did it. You calmed yourself down when you felt you were losing control, you have your sense, you still have your logic, newborns are too blood-crazed to even think about anything else but blood for the first couple of weeks. You're definitely defying the normal logics here Bella.-"That was just like me, I was so a walking accident when I was human, now I'm not a _normal vampire_, I would have laughed at the thought, if I wasn't so troubled by it, I wasn't normal. What the hell was wrong with me? "Carlisle will have a field day with this." Alice mused to herself.

Glad I could help, I thought bitterly. She must have seen I was troubled, this wasn't normal "Bella this is a _good_ thing. When you feel up to it, when there's more of us, we could try going out- You might be able to skip all the newborn stuff completely. It will be hard the first time, it always is, but if you're prepared-"I cut her short,

"I _might_ not _kill_ someone." She could hear the sarcasm in my voice; this was taking a human guinea pig to a whole new meaning.

"I didn't mean it like that, and you know it. You'll be tested some time Bella, you can't stay here forever, that's inevitable." She paused, seeing my glare "And where am I going to go Alice? I have _no one."_ I knew I hurt her, "Bella, you have us, you'll _always _have us."

But I couldn't be with them if Edward didn't want me, I knew I couldn't, I didn't voice that out to her. She finished what she was saying "If you put yourself in that situation, instead of it finding you, it might be easier, if you knew what was going to happen, than having you cut off guard." She did make sense. "Okay, but only if Emmett is definitely there to hold me back."

I don't know how long we were there, just talking about things, it seemed forever, then Alice's phone went off. "Were in Forks now, we won't be long." I heard Jasper say, "Okay. See you soon."Alice responded, and I knew it would be soon, it would take an average person around 4 hours or less to get here from Seattle. But they wern't average, or even human. It would probably take them half that time or less if they were running,or they drived like maniacs. I was suddenly nervous at seeing them. I felt Alice's hand on my shoulder

"It'll be okay Bella."I hoped she was right, I wanted her to be right. We both waited, listening. Just letting the time pass.

My head whipped up to the entrance as we both heard the door open, and six vampires walking through- Alice got up at ran to Jasper at inhuman speed. I stopped breathing- waiting for the pain to come, it didn't.

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**Okay, so hope you like it. I won't be updating for a while. Back to studying now. Boring. But I have been writing parts of this in English when my teacher wasn't in. So it probably won't be long before I update.

Please Review =] I love reading them.

Kirsty.


	5. Meet The Cullens & The Hales, Again

Okay, Hello. =] So I'm updating now, because I probably won't be able to for the next two weeks, I have my GCSE Exams soon, so a lot of revising to be done, again. Thank you to who reviewed. =]

Hope you like this chapter. Just to let you know as well, there's a part with Edwards P.O.V, I don't really like doing this, since I find him hard to write, so it's not going to be anymore in the rest of this story. Just thought it would be good to have his P.O.V in this part. =]

Disclaimer:- Don't own anything from the Twilight Saga.

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Chapter Five- Meet the Cullen's & The Hales, Again.

Alice got up at ran to Jasper at inhuman speed. I stopped breathing- They all came into view, Alice with Jasper hand in hand, Carlisle and Esme, Rosalie and Emmett with their arms around eacthother, and Edward...I closed my eyes against the pain I thought would come, but it didn't. My eyes were still closed when I heard their shocked voices, except Alice's, all saying my name at once

"Bella." I could only hear Edwards voice thick with disbelief but it was also tortured. I opened my eyes. Edwards were the hardest to look, his usually topaz soft eyes looked hard, they weren't liquid like I remembered, they were solid and there was a mixture of emotions, shock, pain, remorse... and something I didn't want to believe was true, love.

I suddenly felt claustrophobic, I had to get away, and it was overwhelming to say the least. But I couldn't run, there were seven vampires blocking the way. It was Esme's soft caring voice I heard next, "Bella."

I closed my eyes and opened them again, only looking at her, and she looked different than the last time I'd seen her, everything was clearer, every detail, her eyes looked more intense then they had before if that was possible.

"Alice." They all looked at her, except Edward, and I couldn't take his glare, I could feel it from my head to my toes, it felt like it was burning me, but I liked it. It scared me, I couldn't do this right now, I couldn't explain to them what happened while he was here, I needed to calm first because I was panicking and I didn't know if I could calm myself down right now. I heard Edward growl softly, it was different than I heard before; it was more smooth, even with the roughness. I didn't know why he growled, and I had a strange instinct to snarl back at him

"Can you explain everything...? I can't- I need some air." They all knew it was an excuse, we didn't need air, but I did need space, I needed to get outside for a moment. They didn't call me on it. "Yeah, sure. But Bella, don't go far."

I nodded and moved past them, heading for the door, I was almost out when a hand grabbed my arm; I felt the heat curse through me again. I knew who it was before I turned around to face him. Edward. But before I had a chance to even say anything, he was talking, I looked over his shoulder, the rest of them were listening to Alice. "Let me come with you. We need to talk."

I shook his hand off my arm. No way. I didn't want to talk to him yet. I couldn't even look at him properly without all the memories bombarding me, without the burning sensation on my arm making its way slowly around my body, without his scent clouding my mind. God he smelled so good. I needed to think clearly, away from him. Then I'd be able to talk.

"No."I wouldn't waver on this. I turned again to get out the door, quick enough so he wouldn't hold me back, but it was like he had read my mind, and grabbed my arm again. Had he read my mind? "Please." I heard the desperation in his voice, and I almost wavered, I almost said yes, but I shook my head, his arm tightened, not enough to hurt, not even enough to restrain me, but he was begging and I knew that.

"Just let go of me Edward." My voice faulted on his name. He dropped his arm, seeing the determination in my eyes. He looked over me, and I felt tingly where his eyes roamed over my body, and met my eyes once again, and it shocked me what I saw there, sadness, curiosity and... desire? I wouldn't let myself believe that one. I did a double check, but it was still there. Then I bolted.

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Edward's P.O.V

No, I wouldn't believe what I was seeing, in all my lifetimes as a vampire, I thought I was finally going mad, my conscious catching up to me, finally getting what I deserved. It seemed ironic, I didn't want this, but I did, I wanted her so much it seemed surreal, and now I could have everything I wanted, but the price of her life was still on my head. I didn't want this life for her, but I knew eventually I would give in, there was only so much I could sustain, that's partly why I left in the first place, but it happened anyway, and not by me. This was forced on her, at least if it was me, she chose it, it was worse than it should have been.

She was a vampire, my love was a vampire, and it was my fault. She couldn't even look at me straight, not for long, she avoided my gaze, and I was selfish enough to want to know why. Like I deserved her to look at me the same way she did before James happened. What did I expect, to come back and for her to run into my arms and everything would be okay. I wasn't that stupid, I wasn't that naive, until I met her. All my sensed told me to let it be, to let go, but I couldn't. She brought the human back out of me, every tangled teenage stage. I couldn't help but stare at her, she looked broken, looked like she was trying to piece herself back together. But at the same time, she looked breathtaking, flawless; but she always did.

It seemed like years since I last saw her, smelt her, touched her. The scent was different, stronger than it was before but in the most amazing way. It was so much better and so much easier right now, I no longer had the desire of wanting to kill her, quite the opposite. Her blood no longer singed for me, in that way, but I burned for her, and I knew she saw that when she looked at me. I saw the pain there, no matter how hard she tried to hide it, I could see it, and I know she knew I could as well.

"_She's panicking Edward." _Jasper, how I wanted to be him right now he felt what she was feeling, I would give anything to feel that right now, to at least know something that was going on with her. _"Maybe I should..."_

I shook my head, she wasn't watching. She wouldn't want Jasper interfering with her feelings, not right now. It was her only grip on reality, I remembered that.I could see the struggle on her face, then it stopped and she made up her mind. "Alice." Her voice sounded like an angel singing in my ears, they all looked at Alice, but I couldn't take my eyes of off her. She still wouldn't look at me _"Edward, if she gets out of control." _

The snarl came out of my mouth before I could stop it. That shut Jasper up. I would not let him touch her. "Can you explain everything...? I can't- I need some air." Everyone knew it was a lie, but I could see she was getting out of control, she needed to calm down, but how was she keeping her cool right now? Any newborn would have either be attacking us right now or at least tearing down this house.

"Yeah, sure. But Bella, don't go far." I knew she was going to go, and I thought I could let her, as she walked past us, every sense become clearer, her scent invading my body and my hand reached out automatically around her arm, I didn't want to let her go, and before I could work out what I was going to say, it came out before I could think it over.

"Let me come with you. We need to talk." I didn't have the right to be around her but I still couldn't help the bit of hope that burned. Her arm shook me off, I wasn't going to force her, but the fire still burned. "No." And I could tell her wasn't going to change her mind, I wanted to let her go, but when I saw her turn her back on me, I just couldn't, it hurt, and my hand wrapped around her arm, again. I was desperate.

"Please." I could see the battle going on beneath her eyes, and the hope burned for an instant then fluttered out when I saw her crimson eyes set solid. My grip tightened a bit, I wasn't ready to let her go. "Just let go of me Edward."

I heard the break in her voice when she said my name, I just wanted to take her in my arms, protect her, comfort her, and tell her everything. I knew she wouldn't let me yet, she wasn't ready, and I'd just have to wait until she was.

"_Listen to her Edward. Look at her, she's hurting right now. She needs time, just let her go." _And as Alice's thoughts invaded mine, I could see everything that happened in the past 24 hours, everything Bella had told her, everything Alice had saw. Even the letters, she saw her writing them, and I saw the words, 'Edward_ Cullen broke my heart, he broke me, and I need time to piece myself back together' _and my hand dropped.

I looked her over, and I could see it, every emotion, and every piece she was trying to put back together. It hurt me as much as she was hurting, maybe even more, because I knew I had caused all of this. I had to fix this. I wanted her; I wanted her back, us together. Then she bolted.

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Back to Bella's P.O.V.

Then I bolted, I knew he wasn't following, his scent was dimming, even though it was still embedded in my head. I knew two things, He wanted to talk, he wanted to be alone with me, for what though? Just to talk? Or more... I ran to the meadow, and lied down, the darkness was clearing and the day was beginning again. I needed to think what the hell was I going to do?

I wanted to talk to Edward, but I didn't. I wanted him. I don't know if I could be alone with him. Being a vampire made my senses more perspective, I knew I saw desire there, and I wondered if he saw it in mine.

How would he react? I stayed there for five minutes, before making my way back, slowly. I was going to stay there longer, figure out what I was going to say to him, to all of them, but I knew as soon as I saw them, as soon as they started talking it would go straight out the window anyway... So there was really no point. I knew they would hear me coming. So I took a deep breath, smelling everything around me to relax. It didn't work. When I finally got to the house, I opened the door and walked in going straight to the dining room, they were all there, except for Edward, and Alice was now positioned on Jasper's lap, while they all sat talking.

Where was Edward? They turned and looked at me, but not asking me, they probably sensed I wasn't in any mood right now, I had one thing I wanted to do, one thing I needed to do, then I'd answer all the questions they liked. I raised one eyebrow up to Alice; she understood what I was asking and mimed

"He's upstairs in his room." His room. Great. I turned and walked as quietly as I could up the stairs, that would lead me to the second floor, and then up the stairs to the third floor, which would lead me to Edward. I knew it was pointless, trying to be quiet, hoping somehow he wouldn't know I was coming. He would hear me coming, even if I was quiet, he would smell me coming, and he probably also heard Alice's thoughts, so basically, I was screwed.

No chance to back out now and I knew deep down, I didn't want to. I didn't knock on the door, I knew he knew I was waiting outside his room, I knew he could smell me, hear my dead breathing. I opened the door and walked in, he didn't look at me, he just stood facing the view on the glass side of the wall.

"Hey." I knew it was lame, but I couldn't just go straight in and what? Tell him I still loved him, tell him I needed answers, yeah, that would go down _really _well. He turned at my voice this time, penetrating me with his glare. It was intense, different than earlier, I _liked_ it. But did he like what he saw in mine? Mine wasn't like his; did it hurt him even more to see mine like this? Made it look more real that I was a vampire? I self-consciously let my eyes drop from his, to the floor. He stepped forward. I stopped breathing. He stopped moving, I saw him put his hands up in the air, palm forward. I was confused, did he think I was going to bolt again, or attack him. I snarled at the thought. He heard that.

"Sorry." I whispered. I looked back up at him. His expression was soft, not at all disgusted, or nervous, just concern, about me.

"I'm the one who should be apologising... I'm so sorry Bella." His eyes were burning into mine, I just nodded, I knew that he was sorry, but what for? Sorry that I was a Vampire, sorry he left me alone, sorry that he could have stopped it?

"Before anyone starts the sorry campaign, I need to know the truth..."he was still staring at me, but something flickered across his eyes, but it was gone before I could identify it. "Alice said the reason _you_ told me you were leaving, wasn't the truth. Is that true?"He nodded and answered with a quiet "Yes." I stopped breathing again. "So you lied." He answered just as soon the question came out of my mouth, I knew he wasn't lying

"Yes."

"Everything you told me, you said you didn't want me, you didn't love me." I shook my head, he put his hand on my throat so he could see me properly, so I could see his eyes, it was like he was looking into my soul.

"It was _all _lies." It couldn't be, but looking straight at him, I knew he was telling the truth. "Why?" it came out in a painful whisper, I didn't want it to, I wanted it to seem that it didn't matter either way, my voice portrayed me, it betrayed me, and I wasn't sorry it did. His expression turned from sad to anguish in two seconds flat.

"I lied, to save you. I left so you could live a normal life..." Alice was right, and I still found it the most stupid reason, and I couldn't help the sarcastic acid that came out of my mouth "

Yeah and _look_ what _good_ that did _me_." My mouth slammed shut, and I saw him wince, "I deserve that." He said, still looking at me, I couldn't disagree, I wanted to, but I couldn't. "Why didn't you just tell me that, instead-"he cut me off

"Anything else and you wouldn't let go. If I told you the truth, you would have argued with me, you would have persuaded me, I was so close to not leaving, maybe I should have let you. I wanted you Bella, more than I should have, I loved you more than I thought was possible and I still do, that hasn't changed. But, I'd rather you hate me than still hold on and wait." I was quiet for two minutes, I know it was killing him, but hey, he could wait, he just dropped this on me, and I was still processing it. He left to save me and failed. He lied. He still wanted me. He still loved me. I wanted him. I loved him.

"I never hated you." I whispered, but I knew he heard, "I tried to hate you, but I couldn't. I don't blame you for this either." He looked frustrated then.

"You _should_. A normal person would." I tried to make my voice sound light, banter, but it cracked, "Well, you know me, I've never been exactly _normal_." He relaxed a bit then, and smiled, it was good to see that. "Well, I guess not." I laughed too, but it sounded like bells singing than a laugh. "I am sorry, so sorry, about hurting you like that, and it was all for nothing." I smiled weakly "You did what you thought was best. I can't blame you for that."What he said next stopped me dead.

"Maybe, but can you forgive me for that?" Could I?

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Okay, so tell me what you think.

This was rushed, by the way, so if there's any mistakes, please tell me. =]

Please review, they honestly make my day.

-Kirsty.


	6. Interview With A Vampire

Hiii! Sorry I haven't updated- I've had a bit of food poisoning. So I haven't been to school for two weeks and had a lot to catch up on. Plus revising. But, due to the food poisoning i've been able to write in bed, so only had to type it up when I had a chance. =]

Disclaimer- You all know the deal. I own nothing. =]

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**Interview With A Vampire.**

"Maybe, but can you forgive me for that?" Could I?

"I...want to" I mumbled, he put his finger to my lips, and I stopped breathing again, this would be the part where I started blushing, and my heart would start accelerating- if I could blush, if my heart would beat again. His touch was different than I remembered; it was always so careful, so cold, and so feather-light. He wasn't cold anymore, we were the same temperature, and he was soft. I could feel his touch all the way through to my bones. "I know you need time, if you _can_ forgive me. That's all I need to know, at least it's something that you _want_ to forgive me, even if you _can't._" My lips moved, but stopped again when I still felt the heat from his finger, I could smell him all over me. It was alluring.

"Please don't say you forgive me, just to make me feel better, nothing can make me feel better for what I have done to you, and I don't even deserve you wanting to forgive me, never mind actually forgiving me... But say it when you mean it, then it will mean something." I didn't bother disagreeing with him. He did deserve my forgiveness, when I gave it, I loved him, and love does crazy things to people...even vampires. I didn't know when, but I had closed my eyes, taking in every sense, every feeling, and every_ buzz_. Every fibre in my being wanted him, but my mind, my sub-conscious was telling me this was going all way to fast. So I opened my arms, and mumbled under his finger "Maybe we should go downstairs, I bet the others want answers and have questions."

"You don't have to answer them now." He assured me, he didn't think I could take anymore today, it had been a long, and I wasn't totally disagreeing with him. "But I want to." That was true, I did, but I wanted to see them, be in their presence more than I wanted to answer their questions. I looked at him and for a moment he looked like he was contemplating something, then it was gone, and he held his hand out "Shall we?" I wanted to entwine his hand with mine, to feel his touch again, but there was doubt, and he caught it, drawing back his hand, he composed his mask "I'm asking for too much." I didn't know if he was or not. I was hesitant; I didn't want to get hurt again. It was a bit quick, I needed time. He didn't look hurt though, or maybe he hid it well, or just maybe he understood. So I looked at him one last time and smiled, before turning around and walking out and down the two flights of stairs, I could feel him follow me, and when we both hit the bottom, we walked into the living room where the rest of his family sat. I wanted it to be my family too. I knew it would be soon.

* * *

Esme got up and gracefully walked over to me. "Bella" and enveloped me in a hug, I could Edward had tensed, "Esme." He said quietly, she let go of me, "its okay." I looked him. "So I uh, guess Alice filled you all in on the main part?" It wasn't a question, and they knew it. I looked at them all; Esme was now back in the corner with the rest of them. Edward was still standing by me. "You must have questions."

"As must you." Carlisle answered, I looked at him "I have the answers I need for now" I smiled at Alice, then looked at Edward. "So please, ask away." Esme was first, "How're you taking all of this?" I was anxious, and I felt Jasper work his magic, I felt calmer, but not much. I knew what he was doing, and it annoyed me. "I'm okay, for most parts-I'm_ trying_. I'm_ dealing_." She nodded. I knew what Edward wanted to ask. Why didn't I run? I knew he wouldn't like my answer. Carlisle's turn "Alice told us you're not acting like a newborn.-"I nodded."Do you mind if we go over some things?"I bit my lip, I knew Edward already knew what had happened, but hearing it coming out of my mouth, might be a different thing.

"Yeah, sure." My voice didn't seem sure. "When you woke up, what was your first thought?" I knew I should have said the thirst, any newborn would have thought that, the burning: they expected me to say that. I wanted the burning to stop, but that wasn't my first thought. The first thing I thought when I woke up was that I was in hell, because Edward had left me, the first thought I had was of him, but I wasn't going to say that to everyone, so I left him out of it. "I thought I was in hell." I saw Esme's expression turn to sorrow. I felt Edward move, I could feel his breath on my back, but I didn't look at him, I couldn't. My eyes would betray me, and he'd know there was more. So I moved a step forward, not to put too much space between us, but to stop his scent clouding my senses. I heard him sigh and he moved back half a step.

"So you didn't think of the thirst?" I wasn't going to lie "No, not straight away. Everything was happening at once, I felt like I was being pulled in different directions. There was so much to take in, so much to remember. So much I wanted to remember-"I whispered the last part, it seemed easier that way "and so much I didn't want to remember. So the thirst wasn't exactly on my mind until after my mind stopped spinning and started focusing on one thing." And that was Edward, at first. I wasn't going to tell him or them that though. I could feel Edwards stare, but I didn't dare move.

"When did you first hunt?" That was a weird question, "A couple of hours after I woke up." I saw Carlisle look at Edward, I guess that wasn't the answer they were looking for, and he looked at me then. "Okay, that's enough for now. You've had enough to think about the past week." I nodded and replied "Okay, when you have anymore, just ask." I turn around and bolted to the door, that wasn't as bad as I had originally thought, but I knew he wanted answers now, he wanted me to tell him everything, I didn't want the others to hear, I didn't want them to feel guilty. Even if Edward wanted me to bring it on him.

* * *

I knew he was following me, I could smell him, and I knew he was letting me lead, keeping a distance between us, otherwise he'd either have stopped be by now, or taken over me.

I went straight for the meadow, it's the one place I felt safe, the one place that calmed me, and the one place that screamed Edward. I stopped once I hit the clearing, and if it wasn't for Edwards distance and perfect balance, he would have slammed into me. I didn't know if I like the idea or not. His body on mine. I shook my head. I wasn't going to think about _that_. Just because he confessed the truth, didn't mean things would _always_ be different from now on. I walked into the meadow and sat in the middle, then laid my back against the grass. He followed. I couldn't keep the facade up anymore, it was too hard.

"Go on, ask." He sighed, "I wish I could read your mind, so then I wouldn't have to." I looked at him then, I raised an eyebrow up at him, he got what I was asking, "No, I _still_ can't hear what you're thinking." I stopped looking at him, letting my eyes scan over the sky, it was going to be one of those rare warmer days, while the sun was actually out, and it wasn't going to come for another couple of hours. "So ask, I don't mind." I knew he didn't believe that one. "Yeah right, I don't have to read your mind to know that one." I smiled slightly, I felt his stare once again, and I sighed this time.

"Still, go ahead; I want to know what _you're_ thinking." I knew what he was thinking; I could feel it back at the house. The burning from his stare was gone, it shifted to the sky. "You said the first thing you thought was that you were in hell-"he paused, and turned on his side, his hand resting on his head, he wanted to see every expression that crossed my face, and I knew that. But there was no reaction. "-Why? Why did you think that?" I wasn't going to look at him; I couldn't look at him and answer.

"Because- you weren't there with me, even if I hadn't been turned, the first thought when I eventually woke up from the pain, would be about you-"I didn't know if he had been expecting that or not, I didn't look at him to see, but I didn't hear him sigh, but I did feel and hear he stopped breathing until I finished "-My hell is anywhere you're not." I felt that there was something bugging him about that statement, I wasn't going to ask, neither was he going to say. "You hunted a couple of _hours _after you were changed, how did you do that? How could you stand it?" I looked at him this time, looking into his eyes first; they were intense, so focused, yet, so unfocused on the question at hand.

"Like I said, I didn't feel it at first, the other pain was too intense to really focus on the thirst-The other pain in question-"I was going to say 'is something I'm not going to talk about, I'd be better for both of us that way, but the way his eyes burned, he wanted the truth, at whatever cost, at whatever pain it might cause him.

"I felt like there was a hole in my chest, you left me bleeding. You took a piece of me with you when you left, and with everything that was going on, I wanted you next to me, to tell me everything was going to be okay. We could have everything we wanted, without always worrying, we were equal, we were together, and nothing mattered except the fact that we loved each other. I so wanted that. I wanted you. Even my subconsciouses lead me to you, well the house. But I could smell you, and even though I knew you were gone, the hope that I knew would just end up hurting me, came anyway. So I stayed there for a bit, I felt comforted, it felt like you were there, that everyone was there, like it used to be. I wanted so much to believe that I had everything I wanted, everything I needed, and I was just disappointed and hurt at the end of it. I felt numb, I cut myself off, and that's when I felt the burning in my throat." He didn't look hurt, well I couldn't really tell. But he looked concerned; I smiled weakly, still looking at him. I knew he wanted to say something, "Before you say what I think you're going to say, don't." He nodded and decided to ask something instead.

"Why didn't you scream, try to run?-"I sighed, did he really want to get into this? "-Why did you just let him bite you?"

"You know why.-"His molten gold coloured eyes turned to solid and narrowed on my face "I wanted to be like you, I wanted to be close to you, and I knew I wouldn't get away from him anyway, I wanted it over with; I wanted the pain stop. But the one thing I _do_ regret is that it wasn't _you_. I wanted _you_ to change me; I wanted _your_ venom in _my_ veins, not anyone else's." His eyes turned back to liquid then, softening. I could tell he understood, but didn't agree with it.

"What about Charlie and Renee, your friends?"He asked, his voice was rising, I could tell he was getting mad, but he didn't have to go _there_. "I don't know, I didn't think.-"That was the truth, I didn't think about them then, I could only think about him. He cut me off "Why didn't you fight Bella?"He sounded full blown mad now. I knew why I didn't fight, so did he. "It wouldn't have worked anyway." I sighed, and his eyes narrowed at me again. He sounded angry now "You should have fought god damn it. Even if it didn't do any good, you should have at least _tried_."

I knew I should have. But I didn't have the energy to. I didn't_ want_ to. I knew we weren't going to go anywhere else with this; we would just end up arguing, and I gathered he knew that too, because his eyes softened again, and his hand found mine, entwining our fingers, I didn't fight it. I saw a small smile play on his lips. He said it softer now, "You said have tried Bella." He squeezed my hand gently, I looked down, I couldn't say this loud, I didn't want him to hear it, but he would anyway, but whispering made it so much easier. "I didn't and I can't change that. Respect my decision and understand, or just don't."I let go of his hand, he didn't want to let go of mine, but my hand was free before he could do anything, I turned on my side to look at him better. His face twisted and then untwisted, his hand came to rest on my cheek, and I closed my eyes, revelling in his touch. It felt like it had been so long since he last touched me like that.

"I can try." I opened my eyes, and smiled gently, "That's all I'm asking."

* * *

We stayed like that for a while, just looking at each other, I didn't know if he was doing the same thing as me, but I was remembering every memory I had of him, every touch, and every kiss. I was also memorizing his face, the way he looked right now; it looked like he loved me. I wanted that, I wanted that memory in case...he left again. "So, any more questions?"I asked, raising an eyebrow, he chuckled low, "I think you've had enough for one day." I couldn't disagree. I wanted to stay like this forever, us together. But I still had my doubts, and as usual, it's like he could read my mind.

"What are you thinking?" I laughed; he raised a brow "I was actually thinking if...this was a dream." He looked like he was concentrating, then raised our entwined hands and rested it against my forehead, "Bella, if this was a dream I would be able to hear you, and as this is not, you will always remain a mystery to me." I smiled as he laid are hands back on the grass. I still wasn't quite sure if this was a dream, because this would be my perfect dream, but either way, dream or not, I didn't want to wake up, I didn't want this to end. I was quite happy where I was right now, but needed to be reassured, I needed to know before I started relaxing, and getting back into old habits, I would only end up getting hurt if I did. "Are you staying? Now there's nothing to be away for?"

"Bella, of course I'm staying. I'm in love with you.-"he looked at me, and with his other hand lifted my chin to meet his gaze "I love you, Bella, and I want you. I _can't_ be away from you. When I left, it was for your own good, I thought I was doing the right thing, so it was a _bit_ easier to leave. It was still hard; I never felt pain like that. I wanted to come back, I didn't even know if I'd be able to stay away long. But I had to try, and I wish I hadn't. Not just because maybe you wouldn't be like this now, but I wouldn't have hurt you. You wouldn't have had to go through this alone, when and if I changed you."

I had no doubt in my mind now. He loved me, I loved him. He wanted me, and I _so_ wanted him. There was nothing stopping us now, he didn't have to be careful. He was staying. We would be together hole in my chest felt like it was starting to heal, slowly, but the edges wasn't raw anymore. The last thing that needed to be said, the last thing he needed to hear, so he could begin to forgive himself. "I forgive you."

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Okie, so that ones done.

So I don't really know about this chapter, can't decide if I like it or not. So help me decide. =]

Please review =] Oh, and i'll try to update when I can. =]

-Kirsty.


	7. Forgiveness, Sparkles & Visions

Heyyyy. Okay, quick update. Been typing this up all night. On Easter Holidays now, so i'll be free to write some more now there's no school for two weeks. So glad i'm leaving in May, because school has been so stressing the past two weeks, Welsh Speaking Oral Mock, Coursework Deadlines, and I have to go into school Thursday for Art. Not that I mind.

Okay, hope you like this.

Disclaimer- I don't own nothing. =]

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Forgiveness, Sparkles & Visions.

"I forgive you."

He lifted my chin, so we were face to face, our lips almost touching, I could feel his breath on my face, and I could smell him everywhere. Gently, he touched his lips to mine, even though he didn't have to be careful anymore, he still was. I could tell he was hesitant, like I would run any second, but I wasn't going to. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and twisted one in his hair. I wanted to deepen the kiss, but he stopped and pulled back. I couldn't help the disappointment that flashed across my face. He touched my cheek and the expression smoothed out "Before this gets more escalated, we should head back." I wrinkled my nose "Hmm."I turned my head to the side; his finger went to my chin, lifting it up, and pressed his lips once again to mine, not as gentle as before, but like last time, he stopped and pulled away before anything actually happened. He looked at me, his finger still under my chin.

"_We_ have all the time in the world." I liked the idea of that. I smiled as he took my hand and picked me up. "Were not going to be able to stay here, are we?" He knew I wasn't talking about the meadow; I was talking about Forks, home, that brought me to Edward. "No. But we can talk about that later with the others. But out of curiosity, where would _you _like to go?"He was giving me a choice, wherever I wanted to go, and I had no clue. There are so many places I haven't been to, so many places I want to see, we could go anywhere, and all I wanted to do was stay here, home. But, I knew we couldn't. "Anywhere, as long as were together."

"_Always_." Even though he said it simply, I could hear the sincerity burning. He kept hold on my hand while we both ran, even though I knew I was slowing him down a bit, since he's the fastest, but he stayed with me, because he wanted to. I loved that fact.

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We made it back before the sun came up. We walked into the living room hand in hand, Carlisle and Esme were the only two who weren't there, Alice was still sat on Jasper's lap and Rosalie and Emmett were next to each other. "So you're all strong and unbreakable now huh?" I shrugged my shoulders. "Want an arm wrestle match; we'll see who's the strongest." I laughed, Edward practically growled. Everything seemed right then. My new family, who now accepted me, the love of my life who wanted me just as much as I wanted him. For the first time since before my birthday, everything felt _right_, like nothing could go wrong.

"Oh ignore him, he just doesn't _like_ to _think_ there's anyone stronger than him-"Emmett glared at Alice "-But there _is_." She poked her tongue out at him. "Oh, here we go."I heard Rosalie sigh and as she looked at the window "and Alice likes to _believe_ that there aren't pixies bigger than her, but there _is._" He mocked her; Alice growled and stuck her tongue out at him again. I bit my lip, trying not to laugh. We sat down by them, and it felt like old times, everything just fit; even Rosalie looked like she wanted to be there. After a while Carlisle and Esme had come back, he told us he tried to find some information about why I wasn't acting like a newborn, why I could control my instincts, or well at least calm myself down when they got a hold of me, that I should have massacred half the town by now. He found nothing.

"Maybe that's my power, if I have one."I suggested, I wasn't sure if I hoped it was or not, but I had it anyway, and I was glad, I didn't want to go through the newborn stage, of what I heard, it wasn't very pleasant. I would skip that part, if I didn't break, but then again, I haven't even been around a human yet. I heard the whoosh of Alice's head whip up, she was glaring into nothing, and I knew that look too well. She was having a vision. Then she came back, her eyes clear and sparkling "Excellent, were going to Ontario." We all looked at Alice "

What? It's not like we can stay here _now_." Rosalie sighed "But we just _got_ here." I could hear the whine in her voice, well everyone could, but I guessed they were used to it, they chose to ignore it. Edward hadn't let go of my hand since he had taken hold of it, not that I minded. Emmett and Rosalie got up "Were going out to hunt." Like I really believed _that_. I felt Edward squeeze my hand a little to get my attention, I looked at him smiling when he asked

"You want to go for a walk?" I nodded, and we both got up, before we got to the door we heard Esme's soft voice "Be back before nightfall, we'll be leaving then." I saw Edward nod.

* * *

We both walked outside, hand in hand, the sun reflecting off us in rainbows, I realised this was the first time I'd been in the sun as a vampire, the first time I'd see myself sparkle like diamonds, the first time I would see Edward properly with super-vampire sight, the first time he'd see me. I could feel his glare burn over my body. He was looking at me in awe. I certainly liked this part. We walked around slowly in silence, it was comfortable though, but I couldn't stand his silence any longer

"So, was there any particular reason why you wanted to be alone with me? Or-"he cut me off in midsentence, my mouth still open.

"Does there have to be a reason? I always want to be around you, want to be alone with you." His eyes burned intensely and that shut my mouth up with an inaudible snap. "But there is a reason-." He paused and looked at me, and he seemed vulnerable and nervous, never since I met Edward Cullen had I seen him anywhere near what I was seeing now. "I know this is fast, and I have no right to ask you. I've hurt you too much to be forgiven, but you seem to forgive me anyway and I want to try to make it up to you for all our lifetimes, if you'll let me-"I stopped breathing, was he really asking me what I thought he was? "-Isabella Marie Swan. Bella,-"

I knew it for sure now, but I wasn't scared like I thought I would be, and in all honesty I wanted it as much as he did. I wanted to be with him forever, I wanted to marry him, and I wanted to be a part of his wonderful family he introduced to me a little under a year ago. But before he could actually say the words I desperately wanted him to, Alice came running out towards us, Jasper on her heels, and Edward stiffened.

Alice stopped in front of us and Edward looked distant, his eyes not focused, and when they finally came back and settled on me, he looked anguished, and infuriated. The way Alice was looking at him, and then at me, I knew she had seen something. Oh god.

"Alice-What the hell did you see?" she seemed hesitant, like she was waiting for an answer "She needs to know." Edwards's voice was soft and soothing, oh god, it must be real bad.

"Victoria-"that's all she had to say and the snarl ripped from my throat before I could stop it, but I wasn't the only one, Edwards lower and smoother velvet snarl was mixed in with mine. It almost distracted me-almost. I was too infuriated to be totally distracted right now, even by Edward. I felt him wrap his arm around my waist softly, but calculated and restraining, like what I was about to hear would have me ripping through the trees before I could think.

"Explain. Now." I managed to strain it out between my teeth; I was so desperately trying to hang onto my anger right now. I also made a poor attempt of shaking Edward off, but he was having none of it and his arm tightened around my waist, it wasn't unpleasant. I felt a cloud of calm and serenity overcome me, and I knew Jasper was working his magic. "Stop it. I have control." I looked at him, but he was looking at Edward, I felt him nod, but his arm didn't loosen. The cloud lifted, and I was in control.

In way's I liked Jaspers gift, he used it on me before when I was human, and it always worked on me whether I wanted it to or not, because I was weak back then, now I'm not. I didn't want him controlling what I felt. I took a deep breath, to calm myself even more and Jasper looked confused, I gathered it was because I was in control of myself, and in the state I was in now, I shouldn't have been able to. "Thank you.-"Jasper nodded, I looked at Alice "Alice?" she knew what I wanted at she continued on with what she was going to say.

"I don't know how accurate this is, we'll have to keep watch-"I knew she was trying to avoid telling me the truth, or trying to twist it so I wouldn't be so worried. "Alice!" I demanded impatient, an octave higher than my now new vampire voice, I winced. Only Edward winced with me, I guess Jasper anticipated it, feeling my growing impatience and I gathered Alice already foresaw my reaction. "Okay. Victoria's on her way here. A day give or take two, if she doesn't get distracted, she'll be making her way to Charlie's."She rushed it out, but I could hear every painful word come out of her mouth, I didn't need to hear what would happen when she got to Charlie's, I already knew. I felt numb, and I felt the weight give out from under me, but Edwards arm protectively around me, stopped me from hitting the ground. I regained my stance.

I grabbed onto Edward for my life, I didn't want to let go, I now understood why he put his arm around me in the first place, why Jasper was here. I didn't fight the serenity that overcome me now, in fact, I welcomed it. I closed my eyes for a moment, forgetting everything at hand, and let myself focus, letting the calm spread through me. "Why?" my voice sounded strangled, and strained, like I was fighting back tears, but I would never cry again. "She's coming for revenge. Now you've been turned, it'll hurt more. By hurting Charlie, It'll hurt you, and by hurting you-"

"It'll hurt me." Edward interrupted her, I could feel his eyes burning on me, but I couldn't look at them right now, I just stared ahead. I felt his arm leave my waist, and his hand lay on my shoulder to make me face him. But I was stubborn, I was turned around and still not looking at him; his finger lifted my chin, forcing me this time.

"Bella, it won't come to that. I promise you, it won't even come close." I couldn't help but be reassured, especially with Jasper working his magic again. I felt his forehead rest against mine, and I gave in. I made myself believe it was going to be okay. It had to be. I couldn't believe how someone could be so angry, how she could have so much anger inside of her. But I was disgusted that I could sympathise, her mate was dead because of Edwards care for me, and now she wanted to torture me. Just knowing she was going to threaten Charlie's life, to get to me, to get to Edward, made the anger boil inside me. I knew what would happen next, this had to end, and either way it was going to.

Victoria was going to die; she would not again threaten anyone I loved. I stepped away from Edward; his scent was so intoxicating it was hard to think straight, but I never let go of him, and his hands smoothed up and down my arms to comfort me. I turned to Alice and Jasper "So, what's the plan?"

"Well, first and most important, we need to get Charlie out of the house for a couple of days." Jasper took charge, he seemed comfortable in this situation, I could tell he knew what he was doing, I just didn't want to know why he knew what he was doing. Looking at him, I never realised the scars that reflected in the sun, they were all over him, and he looked dangerous, if I hadn't have known him before, I would be scared. I listened while he carried on "and the easiest way to do that is-"I already knew the answer to that one "Is if I phone him and tell him where I am." Jasper nodded

"Yes. It would be the quickest way too. Alice will keep watch, in case Victoria's plans change, two of us will be at the house until she shows up. Hopefully it will confuse her before she realises it's a trap." He paused. "And then we attack." I couldn't help swallow the lump that was stuck in my throat. I didn't want anyone to get hurt, and my hands tightened on Edwards. "I want to be there." And the answer I wasn't waiting for came out of Edwards's mouth before I even shut my own.

"No." He sounded so defiant, his voice was final. "I need to be there." I knew he wouldn't let me though, but I still couldn't help saying it. Edward sighed, but it was Alice's voice I heard next. "Bella, even though you may not act like a newborn, when you're in a situation like that, it's hard to control anything. You probably won't be able to control your instincts and you'll end up getting hurt, or worse. Edward will end up getting hurt, trying to protect you, so just listen okay. It'll be easier all round." I just nodded. "But will it be okay? How can you be sure?" Then Alice's eyes glazed over and I knew she was looking into the future, but when she came back Edward stiffened, and then re composed himself.

"What?" I demanded "And don't say nothing because I _swear_ to god-"

"Bella trust me, everything's going to go okay, if we stick to the plan, and when I say we, I mean _you_. There are some uncertainties, but the endings basically the same." I sighed, "Okay." And I actually believed it, for all of thirty seconds. I wouldn't believe it until Victoria was dead, I wouldn't believe it until this was all over. "Well, were going to tell the others, they're probably wondering what the hell's going on." Alice tried to be subtle about it, but that wasn't one of her talents.

* * *

They both left and ran into the house to tell the others. Edward and I stayed outside, there was nothing we could do right now. "You're going to go with Emmett or Jasper." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. He just nodded. I knew he would, and I was selfish enough to want him to stay with me. I still held my personality traits, I would be worried, even though I know he could take care of himself, what happened with James proved that. But, I didn't want him hurt. "Would it matter if I said I don't want you to?"

"Bella-"he sighed, here we go. "No. It doesn't make a difference, because she has to pay for what she has done." And I knew he meant me, not what she was planning on doing, because she had me changed. "I'm ending this. I'm not making the same mistake as last time. This time, it's by my hands." _This time_, kept running through my head, I sighed. He kissed the top of my head. "Bella relax, it'll be over soon. I'll be okay, so please stop worrying." I felt his breath on my neck, and I shivered. He chuckled. Some things never change. "Would you mind if I go see Charlie?"He asked, and the words were echoing around my mind. I turned and looked at him, lifting an eyebrow suspiciously "Why?"

"I know it'll be hard on you- to talk to him. I can go there and tell him 'where you are' "I smiled weakly. "I don't think that's such a great idea. It would probably work, but I don't think he'd want to see you right now.-"

"Because of the letter?"His voice held a tint of sadness, how did he know that? It was like he read my mind, or he knew me too well because he answered my unspoken question. "Alice had a vision of you writing them, and well, she couldn't help but show me." The end of that sentence hinted at sarcasm and all I could manage was an "Oh-"

"Even without the letters though, I still don't think he would listen to anyone but me right now."He gave in; I knew he was just trying to protect me from the pain I knew that was going to come. Hearing Charlie's voice, the hope in them when he heard my voice, or when he finds out where I supposedly was. I could see the hurt and pain that would come across his face when he went there and found out it was all a lie. He would never forgive me for this. "Here-"he handed me a tiny silver phone, I remembered that phone well.

"Charlie would expect you to change your number." I nodded, he would, and besides the phone number would only trace back to Washington. I touched the numbers lightly to dial Charlie's house number, I knew he would be in, there was a game on. Edward stayed with me, I was grateful for that, I needed his support, but at the same time I didn't know if I could so this with him here. What was it he once said? I was a terrible actress, well lets hoe that had changed, because in a second, I'd be putting on the performance of my existence. I heard the ringing for seven long seconds then Charlie's thick gruff voice full my ears.

"Hello?"

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Okay, another one done. =]

Tell me what you think, so review please. =]

I'll update when I can.

-Kirsty.


	8. The Unforgiveable

Hello! Firstly, I know I haven't updated in ages. Sorry for that. GCSE Exams, holiday and settling into Sixth Form at a different school. It's been hectic! I'm taking Psych, Sociology & English, so my brains been fried. But, now everythings settled, I've started writing again! I'm glad because I was getting withdrawals!

Anyway... Secondly, if some of the information is wrong, not my fault. I used a map on the Internet and Wiki Answers & A travel and Tourist site. So I tried my best, and I hope it's kind of accurate.

Finally, enjoy! If you're still reading this. =]

Disclaimer: Obviously, I own nothing.

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"Hello?" I couldn't breathe for a moment- not that I needed to. I had to get a handle on myself before I gave anything away. It was now or never "Dad?" I tried to make my voice sound broken, fragile, like a runaway who is in trouble. My voice didn't even break. This was going to be hard. "Bella?" He didn't even recognise my voice, figures; even I didn't recognise my voice when I first heard it. "Yeah, it's me."That sounded better, not by much, but I actually managed to break my voice towards the end. I heard Charlie pause and blow out a breath he was holding. "Thank God." I knew he meant that literally too."Are you okay?"

"Yes, Kind of. I honestly don't know anymore." I whispered low. I tried to answer truthfully, and that _was_ how I was feeling. What was I going to say? Well, there's a rouge vampire out for your blood to hurt me and what would be my almost-fiancé, does that class as okay? Then yes, I'm absolutely fantastic."Now, where the hell are you Bells?" I couldn't help but smile at that, it was so Charlie, all pleasantries aside, then straight into it. Uh? Where was I supposed to be? I thought of something at the top of my head, hopefully it would keep Charlie's away from here for a couple of days. "I'm still in Montana." I saw Edwards perfectly shaped eyebrow rise. I just shrugged. "Where to in Montana?" the only thing I could think of was Helena, not that it mattered anyway, I wouldn't be there to meet him. "Helena. I'm not coming home dad-But I'm in some trouble." I paused; waiting for what I knew would come next. "Where do you want to meet?"And I tried to think, but it seemed like the information was already stored there, was it a perk to being a vampire? I didn't really know, but I was sure I didn't hold this information before. "There's this place near where I've been staying, it's an Antique Mall on North Last Chance Gulch. Call this number when you get near-"

"I'll leave in half an hour." I knew he would, and I knew he wouldn't be patient enough to wait for a flight. He would be safe. According to Alice, Victoria would be here by tomorrow, if she doesn't change course. It would take Charlie over 11 hours at least to get to Montana from Seattle. So it would be a day's drive, and a day's drive back once he realises I've gone. "I've got to go. I'll see you soon." I felt guilty for saying it, but he had to believe me, didn't he? "Yeah Kiddo. Love you." I didn't even need to try to make my voice break this time, it did it all on its own, and if I could, my eyes would be filling up about now. "Love you too." And then I hung up. I felt Edwards arms around me the instant the phone moved away from my ear. I squeezed my eyes and my hand wrapped around the silver phone tight. I heard the sound of it snapping in half, and pieces being broken. I looked down and dropped the pieces to the floor.

"Sorry." I managed to mumble "I'm sorry you had to do that." I knew he wasn't talking about crushing the phone. I just shrugged, "It had to be done." I could feel his breath on my neck; it made my skin feel like a live-wire. "It doesn't make it any easier though." I couldn't argue with that. I turned around to face him "When do you think I'll be able to see him again?"And his answer was kind of what I expected. "If you were like the others, like we were, I would say at least a decade, just to be safe. But when it comes to you, like always, it's a complete mystery, I have no idea, and it is very frustrating."I frustrated him? He had no idea what he did to me. He continued "You also haven't been near a human yet, haven't smelled the blood, you're unpredictable, unstable, and we don't know how you would react."

"We have to test that theory" and he froze, his face becoming a protective mask. "We have to sometime." I finished, reminding him, I had to confront it sometime, and like Alice said, it would be easier if I knew when it was coming, so I was ready and not by accident. "Yeah, I know-"he seemed hesitant, guarding himself like he did when I was human, but he'd become a hell lot easier to read now I was like him. He wasn't so much like a rock anymore. He was clay, he could change to any shape at any time, and it was kind of scary. "Is it wrong of me to want to protect you from the pain of the thirst? Of the thoughts that come when you want it that much. Or the emotions that come after, once your head is clear, and you realise what you wanted, that you would do anything to get it. That you wanted to hurt that person you don't even know? Its one painful territory, trust me, I know and I pay for it every day. Are you ready for that?"

I gulped, okay I knew it would be hard, and I knew he felt that way, but not that deeply, he never really let on how he felt when I was human, he never really told me that much, so it surprised me. I had to be ready though. "With you, I am. I know you won't let me hurt anybody Edward." My hand went up to touch his face lightly, and then rested around his neck "I trust you." We didn't say anything else, he took my hand and we walked back to the house. We heard the end brunt of the conversation with Alice and Jasper we just had. "So we get to fight?" Emmett's voice was thrilled, how sickening, he was looking forward to this. I rolled my eyes at him. I smiled gratefully at Rosalie when she smacked Emmett across the chest while muttering "Idiot." Under her breath, she didn't like this as much as I did, we had something in common, we didn't want the love of our existence to get hurt, even if the fight was a rightful one.

Alice eyes glazed over in the familiar gaze I've become to know, and I also knew Edward would go the same, watching what Alice was seeing. His arms tightened around me and then they stiffened, turning to his usual statuesque, but he wasn't so stone like to me anymore. They stayed like that for a long thirty seconds, Edward was back first, and his arms began to loosen around me but still held me contrasted, close to him. Then Alice's eyes became aware again. Her dainty pixie-like features twisted painfully then flattened out, but the emotion was still there behind the mask she held. Her eye's weren't the usually sparkle they had and she wasn't bouncing in her seat. I shuddered at the thought of what she saw. We waited for Alice to tell us, but it was Edward who cut the silence and told us first. Alice looked like she was in shock; wait, could vampires go in shock? "It seems Victoria's formed a new clang." He spat out, his took on a tint of revulsion. Before anyone could ask who he answered "Laurent is back with her and someone I didn't recognise... "Alice came back to life at that moment, she looked up, and Edward must have read her mind "Alice, do you know him?"

"Yes..." she seemed hesitant, and scarred out of her mind. "Kind of. His name is Blaine." I saw Jaspers jaw lock, his whole body rigid, just at that name. Who the hell was he? Alice touched him slightly on the arm and he softened, a bit. "Jasper and I ran into him, before we came here. It was rather _unpleasant._ You see, Blaine isn't like us; he isn't like any vampire we've ever come across. He has no conscious, he's ruthless, careless, one-minded –"Emmett cut her off, "Every vampire is like that." Rosalie gave him her perfect 'Oh Please.' Look. "No, you don't get it. He's dangerous. He has no inhibitions, no morals. He kills as sport, not because he needs to. It's a game for him, a bit of fun; he's a hundred times worse than James.-"she closed her eyes and sucked in a breath she didn't need, " and a hundred times smarter. We barely made it out alive when we crossed him the last time." She didn't open her eyes when she said this. "Victoria's the least of our problems now."

"He'll double cross her?" Carlisle's smooth voice asked, I almost felt safe. Jasper answered this time. "In a heartbeat. She's nothing to him, a new game, and if it isn't as fun as he thinks it's going to be, or if things don't go to plan, he'll turn the game around."

"Oh great. We have a psychotic vampire on our hands, and were what? Staying here like sitting ducks?"Rosalie's voice was thick and full of sarcasm. "No were going to fight." Emmett was still excited, it made me feel sick. "We won't win."Alice whispered. I wanted to say it, but I just couldn't. But Alice echoed my thoughts. I could tell she was terrified of this, and I didn't know what I was scared more of, Victoria, Blaine or the fact that Alice was reduced to this terrified person who never looked more human now than since I met her.

"Then why don't we leave?" Rosalie's voice was pleading; she was just as scared as Alice was, but I was thinking the same thing. "Because if we leave-"Jasper started but Alice's shaky voice finished it "The three of them will paint the town red." I tuned out then and closed my eyes. They were too caught up in what was going on to notice anyway, except Edward. I could feel his eyes on me as usual, trust him to still do that when all this havoc was going to happen and he was looking at me. I was ashamed of myself because I wanted to do just that, to just run. Forget the town; Charlie wouldn't be here anyway when it happened. But my conscious, my soul kept thinking about my friends, the people I knew in this town would be left to the slaughter, that's where the shame came in.

The whole town would be massacred, and I knew deep down I couldn't find enough emotion to care, at least Charlie was out of town before all of this would go down. It was like the universe didn't want Edward and me together; we couldn't exist together because one way or the other something happened to threaten each other's existence, when I was human, and now as a vampire. Everything was just beginning to be okay, to be more than okay, I was with Edward, almost all the scars were healed, and I was almost pieced back together again. I had everything I've wanted since I become accustomed to this paranormal world. I could be- wanted to be with Edward forever, and I wanted that too much, the guilt overwhelmed me and Jasper obviously felt that because I felt a different set of eyes burning into me, I opened mine and saw Jasper looking at me.

"We were all thinking the same thing."He tried to reassure me, and he then must have thought to Edward what I felt because his arms tightened and he moved impossibly closer. I couldn't help it though, I still felt guilty, and it didn't change anything with the fact that they might be thinking of it too. Because either way, that thought had crossed my mind, I would have let the town be freely left open for the bloodshed to begin. My new life was just beginning, with the death of my old life. The death of me was the beginning, and now the end was beginning. The death of all of us was beginning. So yes, I wanted to run with Edward and be safe in his arms, and I would give anything for that to happen, even the death of hundreds, and I knew by the way Edward was holding onto me like his lifeline, that there was now less than an inch of space between us, that he too wanted that. But if I did that, if we did that, that would be it, the humanity would be gone. We would be the soulless creatures everyone thought about vampires, that most authors wrote about. It would mean we were the vampires of nightmares, creatures of the night.

But would it mean we were worse than them? Because we try so hard to be different, to not be like that, to not kill? But then we would freely give over lives of innocent hundreds over our own and our loves? Yes, we would be worse. It was bad enough to even think of it, but to go through with it would be blasphemy. Was I truly the monster Edward always thought he was? The one he was trying so hard not to be?

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So...What'd you think?

It's not my longest chapter (At least, I don't think.) And it's not my best. But, i've only just started to pick up with this again. So, hopefully it's not that bad.

Tell me what you think and review. =] If you're still sticking with this story, which, I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't, but, if you are, i'm so grateful! =]

-Kirsty. x


	9. I Got You

Okay, firstly, Hiii. Second, I've totally lost the plot of where I was going with this story, and right now, I've been writing something completely different, my own kind of thing, so, I don't know when and if i'll ever finish this, but I have two more chapters after this to post. But, if anyone has any ideas of where to go with this story, message me. :)

Usual disclaimer apply.

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"So what exactly are we going to do?" Emmett's voice leaked impatience. He looked at Carlisle for the answers. Rosalie cut in "Well, were not leaving tonight are we?" she was beginning to sound cynical, I couldn't blame her. I didn't care what we did anymore; I wanted it over and done with. If we leave, we leave, if we stay, we fight and possibly die. But either way, it would be over soon enough. So the decision was? I knew what I wanted to do, my logic was screaming for us to run, but my soul was telling me to stay. "We should vote." Carlisle suggested "This involves everyone; I'm not going to make the decision for any of you."

"But this doesn't involve everyone." I whispered, I had to get this out, even just to say it, get all the options. "Victoria's not coming for you, it's me she wants. If I just go, it'll lead her away from here, Blaine won't be here." I heard Edwards jaw tighten, but Esme diffused the situation before it started "We are involved" it was the first time I heard her voice during this conversation. "Bella, you are a part of this family, always have been. We protect our own." Her voice sounded so final, I wasn't going to argue with her. I just nodded "So the vote?" Rosalie asked

"Yes, okay."Carlisle started "Stay or leave?" he looked at Alice first "Alice?" she lifted her head up from her hands, she had gone really gone quiet, it was so unlike her. "I'm sorry." She shook her head and her voice broke "I vote to leave."I was stunned, it shocked everyone, except Edward, he must have heard her thoughts because before she said it his hold on me tightened even more. "Okay." He continued, covering up his shock, the cool mask they all wore was back on. "Jasper?"

Jasper shot a quick apologetic look to Alice and voted "Stay." Carlisle nodded, "Rosalie?"

"Leave." That didn't shock me, didn't shock anyone. "Emmett?"

"Hell, I'm staying."I knew he would say that. I rolled my eyes. He was so predictable.

"Esme?" I couldn't help but hear the softness in his voice when Carlisle said her name. "Stay." She replied so quiet I wasn't sure if I heard her. "Bella?" My turn. Oh God. I wanted to hear Edwards answer first. I couldn't feel his breath on my neck anymore, I knew he'd stop breathing, waiting for my answer. I closed my eyes. I had to do the right thing, and this was the right thing, for everyone else anyway. "Stay." I didn't want to be the monster. I felt Edwards's breath back on me, it felt reassuring.

Carlisle nodded and moved on to the one I was most waiting for "Edward?" This time I stopped breathing, and it was uncomfortable. It was like he was doing this on purpose, he waited the longest time to answer "Stay." I sighed. I didn't know if he was saying it because I had said it, would he have said Leave if I had? I guess I would never know. "Okay, it's unanimous. Not that it makes any difference, I vote to stay. It's the only decision that's right."

"I guess were staying then."Rosalie sighed. "It's the wrong decision, fools."Alice spat out poison and got up and ran out of the house before I could even blink. I was about to go after her but Edward whispered in my ear 'Don't worry, she just wants to let out some steam, then she'll be back' ending all coherent thoughts. Jasper followed Alice after a minute; I guess that's all the restrain he had not to follow her sooner. I felt Edwards arm move from around my waist and grab hold of my hand and tugged "Let's go." I followed him, hand still in his. We walked up the two flights of stairs, and made our way to his bedroom. Once we were inside I had the scolding I knew I would get from the comment I made, I was hoping he would forget it.

"What the hell was that?" Edward hissed in my ear just loud enough for me to hear, and low enough for the rest of them not to "This doesn't involve everyone?" he mimicked my voice to perfection "Of course it does, you silly girl. God Bella, I love you. You are my life, don't you get that? Do you know what it would do to me if you-"he stopped, and calmed himself down. I did know what it would do, I've been through it. "Yes, I do. Don't you remember? Or is it so easily forgotten?"I whispered, but the harsh edge was still there, I was getting angry. He was lecturing me on this, when he had done it himself, to save me. He was such a contradiction. He sighed and leaned his forehead on mine, our hands entwined at our sides. "I'm sorry."I could feel his breath on my face.

"You know, you can't lecture me on this anymore. You know you would do it, you have done it. So please let it drop, you're becoming the definition of contradiction."This time, my tone was teasing. I felt him smile slightly. "I know I can't make up for what I've done Bella-"I stopped him before he could start again. My finger went to his lips to silence him "Just shut up."I smiled and laughed lightly "And kiss me." That's all he needed and his mouth was on mine. That's all I was concentrating on, our mouths melding into one, just him and me. He made me forget everything. The world seized to exist around us. All I could feel were his lips on mine, his hand in my hair making my body tingle all over. I could smell him everywhere around me, I could feel his tongue trace my bottom lip, and then I could taste him. All my barriers were down now. He sighed, mouth still on mine then pulled away, and even though we didn't need it, we both were gasping for air. I laughed softly.

That was new; he'd never kissed me like that before. "That was...uh, different." He ran his hand through his hair; I flattened mine down a bit. We were less than an inch apart and I could still feel his breath on me. I wanted more. I wanted all of him, when I was human I remembered I had this feeling, but I knew it was impossible, I was just glad at what I had. Now that it was possible and I could feel he wanted it too, the air was electrified. It was all I wanted. This was the part that came with being a vampire I guess, your reactions were heightened, senses heightened, and feelings a hundred more times aroused. It was all I wanted. If we lost this fight with Victoria, Laurent and Blaine, I would die happy. Or maybe I wouldn't, maybe it was better I didn't know what it was like to be with him, be fully connected to him. Because when and if we lost it, it would be too much to take to know I wouldn't feel that again. Plus, with the fact that the others were downstairs, didn't help much either. We couldn't even if we wanted it that much. He looked at me and I saw desire, I could feel it and I was mirroring it. "Hmm." A different kind of fire burned though my veins now, the kind I liked.

I jumped when I heard the door slam from beneath us and Jasper shouting to Alice to what I gathered was to try to make her stop. I heard heavy footsteps running up the stairs, in a hurry, I could smell Alice, so I gathered it was hear. But it was weird hearing those steps, Alice was always so ballerina like, it would break a teacher's heart to hear them footsteps. She opened and barged through Edwards's door without knocking, I felt her grab my arm and pull me, and then in less than a second I was outside in the hallway. I was too shocked to stop her, but I didn't know she had that kind of strength in her, I gather the saying 'Don't judge a book by its cover' never made itself known to Alice, until now. This was the most-inhuman, but human I'd seen her. She was inhuman because this was so unlike her, but she was also the most human because her emotions were overruling her. I felt a little smug that I wasn't the weakest one right now, I didn't let that show. "Whoa- Wait Alice. Calm Down, _**relax**_." I noticed my voice sounded unusual at the end of that sentence, it seemed kind of...hypnotic?

Then something even weirder happened, Alice changed, she actually did relax. "Bella, what the hell was that?" her voice sounded relaxed, but strained, like she was being forced to relax. "I don't know..."that was the honest truth, I had no idea what the hell happened then. I felt Edward standing by the side of me; he looked at me and then turned to Alice with an expression of shock on his face. The only time I'd ever seen any emotion actually show on his face is when it involved me, and the first time he saw me as a vampire, but even then... I could tell she was showing him what happened, could tell he was watching it. "How?"His voice was distant, automatic, I hated it when he was like this, it was like he was there but you couldn't touch him because he would disappear, he wasn't really all there.

Alice just shrugged her shoulders, answering his question. "What exactly happened?" I could tell she was showing him again, I was getting irritated; they were going on like I wasn't standing right here. Alice looked at him suggestively, raising one eyebrow. "Hmm, maybe."They were having a silent conversation and I was definitely annoyed now."Oh, stop that."Okay, so I snapped, bite me. They both turned their attention to me now, and I felt uneasy, if I was still human I would be blood red by now.

"Hello, can't read minds here."I reminded them, okay so I was a little short-tempered, but they were having a silent conversation about me when I was standing right here, it was bordering on rude here. "No but you might be able to control them."Now I was confused "huh?"

"Your power Bella, we think it's finally showing." It didn't really click in my mind until she said it. But I was still confused. "I repeat huh."

"You saw how panicked I was just now." I nodded "and then you just tell me relax, and I do? That doesn't happen to a vampire. It takes decades for us to control are emotions, and still, sometimes they get out of hand. That was one of those times. You're a telepathic projector, I think. From what just happened, you've accessed projecting emotions, kind of like Jasper's, but with Jasper you can resist it if you have the will to, you know its happening. But with yours it's in the mind, you don't feel it coming, I didn't even realise what happened until after it happened. When you practise more, you'll access more. Control peoples mind."

"But how, I mean why have I got this?"

"You know we bring things through from our human life, it expands more. With you, you were mentally protected; no one could get into your head. You brought that with you, and it's expanded, you can keep someone out of your head, but they can't keep you out of theirs. It's quite interesting" she finished, but I guess it still didn't fall in place. Personally, I never thought I would have a power. Yes, I hoped I would have one, but I never believed I would. There was nothing special about me while I was human, so why should there be now? I didn't realise that everyone else was now in the hallway with us, except Rosalie, and I found I wasn't surprised by it. I long ago stopped trying for her acceptance, but I still couldn't help wanting it. I didn't like the way she just dismissed me, I hadn't done anything to her. I knew I wasn't getting it anytime soon, especially now I was a vampire, and I accepted that. But she had to accept that I was a part of this family now, if she liked it or not. I was Edwards, and he was mine, always.

Nothing would change that, nothing could break our bond.

I vaguely heard Alice explaining to everyone about what just happened, but I was tuning out, and I could feel Edwards stare burning the side of my face. He was trying to get into my head, as usual. I know he didn't like it that he didn't know how I was feeling or thinking. It hit me then, could I send a message to him, if I wanted him to hear it? As Alice said I could project the way I want people to feel, if I could control someone's mind, could I put a message in their head? He would have what he wanted, he would finally be able to see into my head, give or take, only what I wanted him to hear but, it was something right? I could give him that, but I couldn't give it all, I couldn't let him inside my head all the way. Before he left- if I became a vampire by his hand, then maybe it would be a different story. He could have had all of me. But, the piece of me he ripped when he left, still belonged with him, it hadn't returned to me yet, I gave him everything I could when I was human, but I don't think I could give everything to him now as a vampire. I couldn't do that again. Also, I liked the fact he couldn't get into my head, I needed him not to know everything about me, it would be so embarrassing if he did, and it was kind of fun knowing that I was still a mystery.

So I tried, keeping it simple, just saying his name, it didn't work. I tried again, concentration on nothing but Edward. I could find the power building; it was like an elastic band being pulled, waiting to snap, but I kept forcing it outwards, towards Edward. I saw Edwards's eyes go wide, and I knew it worked, that he heard me. I got snapped out of it then, the elastic band snapping back into place. When I focused back Alice was watching me impatiently, she must have been the one who snapped me out of my trance. "Sorry, huh?"

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Okay, so now that ones done. I'll be posting up the other two chapters soon.

So, tell me what you think, and if you do have any ideas, please say. :)

-Kirst.


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